Emotional abuse is one of the most difficult kinds of abuse to identify. It often takes people, months or even years to understand that they may be living through emotional violence and abuse. Gaslighting is one of the various examples of how this can manifest or play out. Simply put, gaslighting is a method or technique of emotional manipulation that aims to undermine an individual’s perception or experience of their reality. Hence, victims of gaslighting may find it difficult to believe or understand that they are being abused, because of how their reality has been altered, thanks to the abuser’s manipulation.
Getting out of a relationship with someone who gaslights you, will not only relieve you from abuse, but it’ll also validate your experiences and let you have a fresh perspective about your experiences, away from the clouded judgment of your partner. In reality, it is better to walk away from a manipulative and gaslighting partner than to even engage the relationship at all. Hence, I have curated a list of signs that’ll indicate that a person/partner may be gaslighting you.
- You are second-guessing your experiences.
If you’re usually a very assertive person and all of a sudden, you find yourself second-guessing your emotions and experiences around your partner, then they may be gaslighting you. If you are constantly doubting your feelings, around your partner and are over-rationalizing to compensate, then you are being gaslit.
- Your partner always plays the blame game: “You’re at fault..” “No, you are..” And several arguments later, nothing gets resolved. If your partner often resolves to shift blames to avoid accountability of any sort, then they may be gaslighting you. If your partner also makes you feel like you’re to be blamed for all the problems in the relationship, then you are being gaslighted.
- Your partner does not say sorry: First, your partner refusing to apologize no matter how wrong they are is just narcissistic, and no one should be around that energy. Saying sorry when wrong in a relationship is not a sign of weakness, it just shows that you respect your partner’s feelings and genuinely are sorry for hurting them. So, if your partner is refusing to take care of your heart, and is refusing to be accountable for hurting you, then they are gaslighting you.
- You are constantly anxious around your partner: Your partner should be in a safe space, you should be free to express yourself around them and they should definitely not be triggering your anxiety. If you are constantly getting anxious around your partner, and are walking on eggshells around them, then it may be a sign of gaslighting.
5. You are always apologizing: If you are apologizing for things you can control and even those you can’t then you need to take a step back. Ask yourself why you are apologizing, and analyze your reasons. If it’s because you feel like you’re responsible for all the problems in the relationship and you’re apologizing based on that fact, then you are being gaslighted.