Ending a relationship is never easy. I find it very funny when people ask if it’s a “bad breakup” because there’s no such thing as a good breakup. Maybe, a breakup that’s good for you in the end, but there’s no such thing as a good or easy breakup.
It is even more difficult when you have to initiate the breakup. However, it is very important to recognize when a relationship has run its course and ending it is the only way forward.
As women, we often try to overcompensate in romantic relationships, making excuses for our partners even when the relationship has become toxic, unhealthy. The truth is we owe it to ourselves, to let go of relationships, entanglements, and situationships when we are genuinely uninterested.
Here’s what you need to know before you break up that relationship.
- You are not committing a crime: Initiating a breakup is one thing that often seems like a crime but truthfully is not. You’re not a terrible person, and honestly, if your partner thinks so after the breakup, it’s fine too. Choosing to end a relationship that no longer serves you is not a crime, so never feel guilty about it.
- You don’t owe anyone feelings: The truth is you don’t owe anyone a relationship, including your partner. If you are finding it difficult to end a relationship you don’t even want anymore, because you feel like you owe your partner that relationship, then it’s time to re-evaluate and prioritize yourself.
- Stop trying to make it work: Even if you are so used to “fixing” things, it is okay not to fix this one thing. You’re not a glue, there’s so much to life than fixing a relationship and it’s time to look towards other things.
- It’s okay to be “the bad guy”: I know nobody wants to be that person but it’s inevitable. We can’t always play saviour in everyone’s life, it’s impossible. If choosing your happiness and choosing to let go of a harmful relationship makes you a bad guy, then so be it.
- You have to stand your ground: Relationships are partnerships, but breakups signify the end of such partnerships. So your partner does not need to agree on whether or not you need a breakup. It’s the one decision you are allowed to make on your own.
Breakups can be a very tough time for even the strongest people. Don’t be too hard on yourself and extend some grace on yourself too. Everything will be okay, maybe not immediately, but eventually.