I have my criticisms of social media. It can get addictive. It can desensitize people. It can be a distraction etc etc.
All of this said, I also maintain that if not for social media, my growth as a woman and especially my career trajectory would be nowhere near what it is. Through social media, I have gotten inspiration from other feminist women and I have accessed opportunities as a writer and editor.
Furthermore, I admire social media for how it enables me to keep in touch with people from my secondary school and university days. For context, I finished secondary school in 2016 and university in 2020.
I like how apps like Instagram and Linkedin help me celebrate the milestones of my past classmates and enable us to plan for hangouts and reunions.
I also really appreciate how social media and observing the lives of people I once was classmates with has made me understand that I must not be afraid to start a new career path.
One of my secondary school mates who I keep in touch with on Instagram is Uyiosa Igbinovia. She is a visual artist and a trained pilot. I cannot express enough the joy I felt watching her post about training to become a pilot and actually following through with it.
Now, one might be wondering what the connection between visual art and aviation may be and why she chose to explore that path. Therein lies the basis of this article. It is imperative that women learn to abandon the fear of new beginnings. It is imperative that women learn to instead give light to all the dreams they want to stow away in the darkness and rubble of self doubt.
There is so much women can accomplish if we do away with the anxiety of wondering if we fail should we open a new business, learn a new skill or go back to school.
Even more, there is so much potential that the world loses out on because women have been told to limit themselves and never fully explore the range of our talents. Women are made to believe that being a wife and mother must take precedence over any dream they want to nurture. This is such that a woman may be an accomplished lawyer, but if her desire to go back to school and earn a Fine Arts degree upsets her husband who only wants her to have one degree like him, she is told to drop it “so that peace will reign”.
Why does the peace of a marriage always involve women lowering ourselves and abandoning the things that give us joy?
Why is it that women are raised to be very organised in housekeeping but simultaneously afraid to apply that organisation in the business side of our lives? Why is it that we have women who are good hosts and planners of family events and yet they struggle with starting catering businesses and following up with clients who owe? This is even if these women may be known in the family as strict women when it comes to organising who should cook and clean at family events? Where does that strictness go when it is time to earn money from cooking?
Speaking with F, she explains that more women need to understand that no one is coming to save us.
In her words: “Well, I am a pharmacist (10th year in practice since graduation). In the last four years I have had to restart all over again because I changed my career path twice. In 2021, I decided to embrace tech and became a Data Analyst, in 2024, fortune made me pivot to programmes management in a media and journalism development sector.
Why did I do it? MONEY, FULFILLMENT, MONEY. Was it because of a man? HELL NO, I have a Masters in Pharmaceutical and Medicinal Chemistry and an MBA. It’s just being able to come to the realization that NOBODY is coming to save us as women.
Rather they’d keep blaming us as women so what do we do? First: Love yourself enough. Once you have that self love, you can move mountains.”
For Aliyah, she mirrored F’s words when she mentioned that no matter what happens, time will still go and so we must go after our dreams as women.
To quote her: “I think it’ll be safe to say that women in The Emecheta Collective know me as one who is always chasing the next thing that could take me closer to my goal. I’m still young by many standards (21), and I’ve always been interested in a lot of things. I wanted to be in plenty places at once. I’m not where I want to be yet by any standards but on the way and I just knew the best way to get there was to allow myself to remain open.
I joke that I don’t have career goals, just financial goals, but one thing I’ve always been passionate about was writing and creativity in whatever form they presented. And subconsciously, I’ve pursued paths that directly or indirectly cross function because again, na money I dey find. But again, giving myself the room to start anew without fear.
One tiktok comment that has always stuck with me. I’ve forgotten the circumstances but I remember someone wanted to go back to school and was complaining about how 3 years was a long time.”
She continued by saying: “And then the person said ‘The time will pass anyway’. The time will pass anyway. I can either remain stagnant and be in the same place or let the time pass by with me discovering a new part of myself.
The lack of fear of starting anew has been a great working force in my life because no matter what it is, my mantra is always that the time will pass anyway and I can start over as many times as I want.
Don’t let the fear of starting afresh discourage you. Time will pass anyway. You can either decide that time will pass with you, a new person at the end of it or with you still in the same place.”
One of my favourite quotes goes thus: “Everything you want is on the other side of fear”. I’ll end this piece by reiterating to women that our self fulfillment lies on the other side of fear.
By embracing all the parts of us that want to be explored and brought to the light, we directly affirm that we matter as people.
More women should affirm that they matter by the somewhat simple act of exploring their talents no matter the fear of failure which will always lurk around.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.