Sisterhood and being a “girl’s girl” is one of the core foundations upon which any woman’s core values should be built.
This is such that she looks out for other women, does not place a man’s lack of respect on other women and is intentional about having a circle of female friends whom she can offer support and lean on.
Sometimes, that circle can come from the women in one’s family and deepen the bonds already shared by familial ties.
Urban Woman asked eight women to share the highs of having sisters and how they bond with the women in their family and women who they have chosen as sisters regardless of familial ties.
We all bonded more when we had kids. I delivered my younger sister’s first baby and would have done the same for my immediate younger sister, but for COVID. The kids all call me Big Aunty. Me? A baby girl? But I’ll take it. You are all my sister circle on The Emecheta Collective. I’ve become incredibly close to some ladies here and I love that I have apparently developed the reputation of being a big supporter of women and women’s dreams!!!
Growing it up it was mainly music and gist and living out of each other’s wardrobes😂
Not so much the music and clothes now that everyone is older and in their respective locations, but the conversations are still very much what hold us together.
From the mundane to the life-altering, I think I end up discussing most things with my sisters. My sister still randomly calls me in the middle of the day to tell me something funny or laugh over a private joke. She knows everyone who’s ever pleased or offended me in any manner or form😂.
Also booksssssss. We have so many book memories amongst us. And businesses. I have three sisters and I’ve gone into a business/project with all of them. Or at the very least, helped them with a business.
And whenever any of us has a problem, we know we can always fall back on each other. They’re incredible women fr
My sisters and I bond through music and new dance steps. We are not always around because of school but whenever we get to see each other, especially the fourth born and I, we talk about trendy songs that are in rave and dance steps we have learnt over time. We also bond with movies.
My immediate younger sister and I weren’t always close, but I’m so glad that now, she confides in me easily. She talks to me about her crushes, when she has low self-esteem and needs boosting, when she needs to make business decisions, and so on.
I am not the most fashion-inclined person, and my sister, some of my cousins, and even my friends always try to come to my aid. It is something I deeply appreciate because I need all the help I can get😂
Some years back, cooking was a bone of contention, but the older I have gotten, the more my cousins (who I see as my older sisters) try to find ways to ease me into wanting to cook more. They are really sweet about it so when they are cooking, I find myself just being there and since it is often a crowd, there is a gist and the vibes are just right.
Additionally, we bonded over acknowledging each other’s strengths. I have always been the writer and I have another who has always been the more stylish one, the one who loves to cook, the one who just always has money, etc etc. Over the years, acknowledgement and respect for the strengths of each other has helped the relationship.
P.S: I mention my cousin because we were raised to see them as older sisters. I am significantly closer to my younger sister though. She and I bond over everything from fashion and style to business to social media memes and just the absolute foolishness of others👀
I have two sisters. An older one and a younger one.
I wasn’t exactly close with my elder sister because she was in boarding school for her secondary school education, so we couldn’t really bond. I have few memories of our lives. However, I’m kinda closer to my younger sister. She’s 22 now, and we’ve grown closer because I feel she needs me more, also, she’s always in a fight with my younger brother who is her own big bro. Also, my sister is too “archaic” to understand her, so I’m her go to person.
Growing up, we weren’t exactly close. But we lost our elder brother and our dad in 2020. We realised we were all we had. We have since really bonded over the years.
We resolve issues among us almost immediately.
There are times we have misunderstandings and even serious ones, but because of our mum, we have to resolve them.
We have nurtured our relationships by doing more of friendships than sisterhood. The conventional respect thing (aunty, brother, sister) doesn’t really exist because we realised it’d limit our communication flow.
We hang out. We sit together and drink and play games. Make fun of one another. We wear one another’s clothes, shoes, bags and all.
We make funny dance videos and record funny scenes that happen.
Lastly, wherever anyone is, Christmas at home is a must for us. It’s also one of the ways we bond.
My female cousins and I are quite close, and this is because we spend time together whenever we travel home for the festivities or any other family function. We go to lounges, attend mmanwu, church bazaars, weddings etc.
We also bond over cooking (which I particularly shy away from). Many of the women gather around the kitchen or fireplace and support in their own little or big ways. Movies too! My cousins love Kdramas as much as I do, so we watch movies till the night slips away.
I love my relationship with them, even though it’s gotten difficult to maintain over the past few years. We’ve all grown and kinda live far away from one another. We don’t travel home as much as we used to anymore.
My mom and her sisters have such a beautiful bond and I think just being birthed in that environment encouraged it in me and instilled strong family values in me. Growing up however, I’ve had to make a conscious effort of choosing family. That means going home when the house is full, or visiting them.
Also, most of my aunties are abroad, and those of us in Nigeria are really scattered everywhere (fuck adulthood) so we hop on periodic calls to talk about everything and nothing. Currently I’m on a 1 hour+ call with them and I’ve spoken to most of them individually throughout the day.
I also have a beautiful sister circle with my friends so yeah, I’m pretty lucked out. And we’ve managed to stay together and strong because we have hard conversations that need to be had. We would talk out our issues as often as we need to. Also, our relationships have morphed over the years and we’ve all just respected the growth and shiftings that have had to happen.
I always say that the women in my life are the reason I never craze for town🤭.
I bond with my sisters by doing the following:
– Frying yam in the middle of the night while performing late night concerts to the horror of our neighbours.
– Going shoppppppping (in their wardrobes too).
– Gist sessions.
– Taking care of their kids with them.
– Literally just randoming plopping down on them while they watch TV until they just réalise you’re not going anywhere so they stop complaining.
– Synchonizing schedules so we can watch our fav shows at the same time when we’re apart.
– Video calls at ridiculous angles so you can make funny faces.
– Meme wars on Instagram (bombarding each other with memes).
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.