Thursday, August 5, 2021

How to create intimacy without sex in your relationship

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A lot of people do not believe that one can really create intimacy without sex in a relationship. However, intimacy should not just be physical, it should also be emotional. According to Merriam-Webster, intimacy is “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.” Now, from this definition, it is easy to see that you do not need to have sex with a person to be intimate with them. Today, sex is mostly physical, and does not always involve emotions, therefore building an intimate relationship with your partner is important in a relationship.

create intimacy without sex

This begs the question, how can one build intimacy in a relationship without sex?

  1. Deep Conversations: Deep conversations with your partner about your future and theirs too can help you build a deep sense of intimacy. If all you talk about are random superficial stuff, then that could be a red flag. Talking about things like your future goals, career, family, can help deepen the bond with your partner and make it stronger. Genuine conversations create an intense emotional bond.
  2. Go out on dates: This is one way to get to know each other better and build intimacy without sex. You would want to try out new places, experiment and discover each other’s likes and dislikes. Also, it doesn’t have to be just movies. You could try out new and exciting things like trying out a new restaurant, going to an amusement park or even planning a weekend getaway with other couples.
  3. Text messages: Yes, this totally works. You can send text messages that communicate how you feel about them, especially when they aren’t expecting it. No! It doesn’t have to be their birthday for you to do that. You just have to be spontaneous about it. Simply send a message to them about how you miss them, or about what their smile does to you, and you will have them thinking about you all day.
  4. Plan a surprise: This works mostly for the ladies. What does your partner like? Food? Flowers? Cakes? Have it delivered to them at their workplace. Just make it a surprise and not only would you get her coworkers singing praises to your name; you would also get her thinking about you all day!
  5. Physical touch: Yes, we know the aim is to avoid being physical as much as possible, but there are still some things that you can totally do to increase intimacy. For example, let your hands linger when your hands touch. Sit in each other’s arms and read a book together. Nudge them gently when they make you laugh. Hug regularly too!


We know avoiding sex is hard, but as the saying goes, “Never say never”. While sex is great, building a deep sense of intimacy with your partner is very important.

Also read: When that vagina itch won’t go away

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