Migration will always be a key part of the human experience. So long as human beings are alive, they will move from one place to another. Sometimes it can be movement from the rural areas to the urban cities in search of a job. Some other times, it will be moving from different countries in search of a better life and greener pastures.
In all this, it must be noted that women tend to experience migration or as Nigerians would say “japa” differently. But how exactly does the japa experience look like for women?
This is what Urban Woman Magazine sought to answer when we asked women who have left or are trying to leave, what their experience has been like.
Below are their responses.
Arinola*
I’d say mine is a bit of both. Japa for me was under duress. I’d never wanted to initially but my family convinced me and helped make it possible. I was in millions of debt and frankly suicidal. So it did help me in paying off my debt fast.
I’d say positively it has allowed me to earn more and contribute more to my family’s financial situation. It’s given me a better chance of having my own money and being responsible with it. On the other hand it has also made me somewhat burdened by that because now that I’m in quote in a better place financially, more is expected of me.
I would say I was lucky to not experience difficulty migrating. I was sponsored by my life savings and my family’s contributions.
The only struggle I can say I still have is finding a good paying job in my field. Currently still job searching while working minimum wage jobs that are not the safest or easiest. My career has taken a back seat to just survive. My current primary job at a warehouse is physically demanding and makes me even more tired than I usually am.
But all in all having a job is really a blessing because I can comfortably afford my bills. It also helps that I live with my sister so we share resources. Having someone to share these experiences with has been life saving. I have done home care too which was also very physically and mentally exhausting because people are very ignorant and always seemed to think my accent means I am stupid or something and tried to cheat me out of my money or rights. Also got sexually harassed a lot so I left it. Thankfully last year I got an entry level job in my field that I enjoy so fingers crossed 🤞🏿 better is ahead.
Relationship wise I have been on a man fast even since Nigeria somehow 😂, but moving really cemented the fact that to know a good sensible Nigerian man or any man sef is by connection; you really expect the exposure of migration to positively impact these men but alas they are regressing. All the education and money is not enough to change their revolting mindsets 😪.
I have had talking stages but they eventually give me the ick when that inbred misogyny rears its head shaaa🥲. The few foreigners I have had flings with were very weird in the sense that my foreignness was exotic to them and they somehow felt I was supposed to also be so thankful that I was chosen 🤮. Some oyinbo men are even worse than their Nigerian counterparts please.
Moving also meant furthering my education. I’m currently doing my Masters and it has been a learning experience navigating a new school system that actually works and cares about the student. School in Nigeria felt like it was out to take you out purposely. But here there’s difficulty but also access to more resources to help you get through it.
Migrating also affected my mental health, mostly because I have always actually been on the brink of losing it all my life. But the abruptness of uprooting myself so fast made me downright miserable. I still battle with homesickness every day and wonder when it will all be worth it. Dealing with the extra stress of navigating racism and the constant need to tiptoe through new systems and social norms has been stressful.
Now I’m focusing on building a fulfilling life for myself here because moving has opened me up to a million opportunities and I must make the best of it.
Hannah
Coming from a conservative and extremely misogynistic country, I’ve found it liberating to be able to discuss my choices openly without fear of someone trying to “plan for me”. My mental health has significantly improved. I no longer experience catcalling or harassment on the streets. It has also impacted my career as a data analyst, remote jobs seem promising as being in a location with high demand for my service provides better pay.
In terms of finances I don’t get mad when I spend money or buy things anymore because food is insanely cheap and there is no way I can spend my one day income on a month’s groceries. One can attain financial stability and security easily. One just has to put in the work.
If you don’t give the airport guys in Nigeria something, they’ll unnecessarily rummage through your luggage under the guise of searching. The only challenging aspects here are the cold weather and having to start from scratch. However, after some time, everything begins to fall into place.
I haven’t experienced the loneliness that many people often associate with living abroad, perhaps because I relocated with my best friend.
My experience has been great, wish I had considered it earlier.
Nenye*
There are more opportunities to advance in your career outside since you get to meet people who wouldn’t typically visit Africa. Also more opportunities to be paid competitively. However, coming to terms with walking around and getting into these spaces while being hyper aware that you are a black person, something you never had to do among black people, is another conversation.
I like that I don’t have to deal with the loud rampant harassment and misogyny from Nigerian men—you enter an elevator, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. People respect your personal space. On the flip side, it’s more difficult to connect romantically because you’re dealing with cultures where you’re not the beauty standard, or who aren’t even checking for you because you’re black and are not used to interacting with black people – I’m in Asia.
When trying to leave Nigeria, the moment that stood out to me was not being let into immigration office because my gown was above my knee. It’s incredulous that you, a paying citizen, will be booted out of a public office for a hemline above your knee. In fact it’s stupid and shows how the government considers people as children not citizens. At the airport, of course the usual extortion here and there.
I didn’t understand what people meant by Nigerians are warm until I moved. People do not really send you outside fr. It can be lonely but it can also be freeing. You get to decide what your life is without anybody breathing down your neck. And you can be more intentional about building your community where you are fully seen rather than adhering to what society thinks you should be.
Didi
Well, japa for me has been good. I would say personally that it has been helpful in my career. The experience of meeting new people, getting new perspectives to how things are done is simply amazing. Culture shocks left and right sha.
Not recognizing racist undertones and comments because I’m not used to it 😂. Like sometimes it’s when I get home that I begin to process that maybe that interaction was racist.
As a newcomer, finances have also been shaky. Trying to understand the banking system here and also basically how money works here.
*Name changed to protect identity
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.