So long as you are human, you will deal with regrets and reminiscing with what you could have done better.
Sometimes those regrets show up in the choice of a partner, the time one got married and words uttered to a friend that ended the friendship.
More often than not, women are hardly asked about career regrets because we are raised to focus our attention on ensuring a marriage is pitch perfect.
However, women also experience career and academic regrets but what is important is how to heal from them.
Urban Woman Magazine recently asked some women to share how they heal from academic and career regrets.
Read their responses below.
S
Academic and career regret: The biggest lie I made myself believe was that science was the best. That bright students belong to science and others should be in Arts and Commercial. I joined science class despite loving art and showing love to artistic things.
I struggled with all science subjects; Physics, Chemistry, and Biology but because I was intelligent I always passed the pass mark. I was hoping to read Medicine and Surgery but I had 199 in Jamb.
After three trials I was offered Biology. I didn’t particularly like it but I was happy to be finally free from my Aunt’s emotional abuse. I’m still struggling to make something out of my life because I’ve not been able to get a job that aligns with my interest.
Honestly I’m still healing. I want to do my masters but not in the sciences. But Nigerian universities don’t encourage crossing like that. I feel stagnant and don’t know which route to take.
My advice? Don’t follow the crowd. Just do what you love. Everything will eventually fall in place.
C
I wanted to do arts but I was told to do sciences. In all honesty, I’m a history genius. But science is for the nerdy kids so I acquiesced because it was either that or they wouldn’t pay my fees.
Long story short, I nearly lost my mind too many times especially because working in the hospital is insane.
However, I slowly started diverting my attention to writing and the arts. I’ve always been a poet so I learned creative writing while working in the hospital. Then I took free courses on editing and offered my services for free or almost no cost.
Then I started attending art functions like exhibitions, and performing spoken word at small events.
That means I was meeting people who were like-minded. Mind you, I was still working a job that was hellish. But at least, I had the arts to comfort me.
I eventually started working for a startup NGO and although I worked in the health section, I was also in charge of correspondence, grant writing, liaising with other organizations and planning events that were creative yet health centered. An example was teaching girls how to make reusable pads from fabric. These look great on a CV.
All the while I was taking up freelance writing gigs and I was also writing for an agency. I was also teaching English to Japanese students.
I started a masters in public health and dropped out. I’ll do a couple of masters in the future in the arts when I have saved enough to go to any school I like.
I’ve had multiple other jobs in healthcare that required me to be a writer and editor too.
I currently work as an editor at an iGaming company. I was hired because I have 5 years of experience in different types of writing and publishing for multiple sectors.
So, my CV is actually insane. There’s lots of healthcare but there’s also lots of editing, writing and consulting. I’ve tailored it to show that I’m really good at this.
These days, nobody asks me what degree I have. They always assume I did law or journalism but I am actually a whole midwife.
I say all this to say that you can chase your dreams on the side. Upskill slowly. You can do the masters in the future when you have more money and can afford to apply to schools abroad.
In the meantime, keep trying the things you like. Attend events. Meet people online and tell them what you’d like to do. I promise you, there are always others like you who have transitioned or are transitioning and are willing to show you the way.
Finally, it’s okay to cry about it and feel sad. But remember, there are so many ways to merge biology and anything else you want to do. For example, you could be a medical writer or editor because you know the technical side of things.
Wishing you the best❤️✨
E
I jumped into a content writing and social media managing type of job few months after graduation. I let the fact that things were hard at home push me into the corporate space.
Few weeks in, I quickly realised I had made a mistake but I didn’t quit. The first real job I had after school featured a hostile working environment and a bad boss.
I saw other young people come in and run away shortly after but I continued to stay on. A year later, I felt fried and stupid and called it quits. I work somewhere else now, they’re pretty chilled and intentional.
I won’t say I’m healed now because I still don’t find that immense joy with the work, but I don’t feel like jumping into a lagoon anymore.
I’m still trying to chart a way back to being a full-time writer (I don’t even know if that will bring me the immense joy i seek) but I’m not very unhappy with where I am now.
A
I would say my greatest regret academically was not giving myself a push during a hard time, I participated in my “failure” by graduating with a 2:2.
It was truly tough and I am still navigating it.
I was/am the gifted child for most of my life at home, people always seem to be taken by my “intelligence”.
By my 300 level, I had a mental breakdown and didn’t attend lectures, read or write my papers with zeal.
It was a lot to deal with when I got better, I didn’t tell most people in my life, I have also punished myself by not offering my CV or immediately cancelling myself.
One thing I’ve learnt is, it is a consequence of an action, it doesn’t define me in a long run.
It propels me to break into academia to make it even better for other students.
I have learnt that I have technically survived my scariest thoughts (failing in school), and I am still okay.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.