As long as people are dating, there will always be that awkward, in-between phase, the talking stage. It’s the space where you’re more than strangers but not quite a couple, where conversations feel exciting but the future is still unclear.
For some, it’s a fun, no-pressure way to figure things out. For others, it’s a limbo that can drag on for months, testing patience and hope.
But the question remains: at what point does “getting to know you” start feeling like “you’re wasting my time”?
Urban Woman Magazine asked four women to share how long they think the talking stage should last. Here’s what they had to say:
Rachel
Personally, I think a month or two is enough for the talking stage. By then, I should already have a pretty good idea if we both want the same thing.
I don’t think everything has to be rushed, but I also I don’t need forever to ‘get to know’ someone.
As a matter of fact, getting to know someone should be done when we’re already dating, and not in the talking stage.
That stage is only meant to know if i like someone enough to want to know them better.
So, like I said, a month, and a maximum of two month is enough for me.
Feyi
How long is too long?
This question has a relative answer. I’d differ for different people.
So no, there is no universal timeline. For me, talking stage shouldn’t exceed 2 weeks, because i believe that is enough time to know if this person is worth your time and love.
Princess
The essence of a talking stage in my opinion is suppose to be the dating period. What that means is going on dates literally, hanging out and spending time together with the purpose of learning the basics of each other.
Now if the purpose is to learn about the other person, it’d mean that you’re expected to enter the relationship with questions that need answers. Answers that you’d hope to get within a personal stipulated amount of time.
These questions would revolve around your negotiables and non-negotiables. What areas you’re willing to compensate on for the other person.
At the end of your stipulated time, you do your analysis and grade your results.
If the person passes, that’s great but you’d also hope you pass theirs.
I’d like to add that for uniformity you both agree on a time frame for this so that it’s fair to both parties and the peculiarities of the activities that’d happen in this timeframe is also clear.
Roberta
I think the talking stage is a trap, not all the time but mostly.
Because it’s not a commitment, with intention, it’s basically flirting and checking out each other to see if your “energies” match which is a big waste of time because it could have just been friendship.
In talking stages , both parties are often known for over stepping boundaries , having conversations that reveal too much , sometimes both parties allow their emotions to creep in and end up engaging intimately, all in hopes of it working out and when it doesn’t, it almost feels like a relationship break up.
I think if a guy talks to a lady for a month or less and is still not certain of what he wants with her platonic friendship or a relationship, she is about to have her time wasted, there is no universal timeline but wisdom is profitable to direct.
Olekanma Favour is a resourceful, self-motivated, and result-driven writer with a passion for crafting compelling narratives and insightful content. She loves tackling complex topics and weaving engaging stories.
When she’s not writing, Olekanma enjoys immersing herself in a good book, exploring new cuisines, and discovering new cultures.