A mean girl is not necesarily someone who would insult you or yell at you. Sometimes, she is that “sweet” friend who compliments you with a touch of shade. The one who says, “You’re actually pretty for a dark girl,” or “This your dress fine o, I didn’t expect it.”
Being a mean girl is such an ugly trait to carry into adulthood. Yet, many people who were mean as teenagers simply grew into adult bullies. They swapped school hallways for offices, friend groups, and social media circles, but the behaviour stayed the same.
Some of them are a product of their environment; they never healed from their insecurities, never went to therapy, and now project their pain on other women.
Urban Woman Magazine spoke to several women about how they spot mean girls and how you can too.
Barbara
You won’t always recognize a mean girl immediately because it doesn’t show on her face. Your friend might even be one, and you won’t know at first. I had this friend who gave the most confusing compliments, things like, “This your hair made you fine” or “It’s because you’re fair, that’s why you’re pretty.” At first, I laughed it off. But over time, I realized every compliment had a sting in it. That’s how mean girls operate, they disguise envy as humor.
Veronica
Mean girls are the biggest gossips. And please, let’s not pretend that “everyone gossips.” There’s a difference between gist and malice. A mean girl doesn’t gossip for fun; she does it to ruin reputations. If she’s always telling you someone else’s secrets, just know yours are next on the list.
Sarima
People call me “too serious” because I don’t laugh at certain jokes. But I know better. Some of those “funny” comments are actually insults dressed up as banter. That’s how mean girls get away with being cruel, they say something hurtful, then hide behind “I was only joking.” If someone’s jokes always make you uncomfortable, that’s not humour. That’s bullying.
Ewomazino
Mean girls 101: if a babe is always competing with you, run. If she never celebrates you, if she finds a way to downplay your wins, that’s a mean girl. You’ll hear things like, “You only got that job because you’re light-skinned,” or “You’re lucky your family has connections.” A mean girl can’t give you pure joy; it always has to come with shade.
Grace
Sometimes it’s subtle. You’ll say hi in public, and she’ll act like she doesn’t know you, but when you’re alone, she’s all smiles. If you’re always the one reaching out, checking in, or trying to keep the friendship alive, you’re probably dealing with a mean girl. They thrive on making you feel invisible.
Vevume
Mean girls love drama, either starting it, fueling it, or sitting back to watch it burn. And they never take responsibility. Somehow, everyone else is the problem. If there’s always conflict around a person, look closely, that’s not a coincidence. That’s a pattern.
Tito
The mean girls I’ve met are mostly at work. They use their position to make you feel small, withholding help, taking credit for your ideas, or embarrassing you in front of others.
Meme
Man snatchers are the leaders of mean girls association. Because why are you going after my man if you are not a wicked person.
Olekanma Favour is a resourceful, self-motivated, and result-driven writer with a passion for crafting compelling narratives and insightful content. She loves tackling complex topics and weaving engaging stories.
When she’s not writing, Olekanma enjoys immersing herself in a good book, exploring new cuisines, and discovering new cultures.