Being A Lady; Class. Poise. Style. By Omena Akpobome

“I am not a risk taker, I don’t do plunging necklines or really short skirts. I try to stay as classy as possible and provide a little mystery”

Kristen Bell.

Being female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice.
The first question is “Who is a lady?” A few dictionaries state that a lady is a woman of superior social position especially one of noble birth, a woman of refinement and gentle manners.

Omena Akpobome, being a lady
Omena Akpobome

Prior to the 21st-century stereotype affiliated with ladies, shoes, clothes, bags, brows (particularly brows). The idea of being a lady in the 16th century was deeply rooted in the attributes of females such as their ability to paint, play the piano, sew and so on as well as their noble birth clearly exemplified in the first definition. A true lady in the 16th century was one who had these abilities and could find herself a husband, as a huge fan of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, I find this a tad demeaning. However, thank God for the 21st century.

Clearly, the stereotype affiliated with the 21st-century lady is wrong but personally, I support the second definition of a lady. A lady is a woman that is well-mannered, her attitude is couched in class, poise and style. A lot of ladies today forget that we are women, very different from men and thus, certain attributes should be peculiar to us. In this post, I will be giving ten characteristics of a lady.

1. A lady thinks before she talks, it’s not uncommon to find girls/women that talk without thinking. Words and sentences just jump right out, a true lady knows people hold her to her word and thus, thinks before uttering anything.

2. A lady is honest, generous and humble, a true lady is honest (almost to a fault) she says what she thinks, is charitable, has a good heart and is always ready to put others before herself.

3. A lady carries herself with grace, by grace I mean a controlled, polite and pleasant way of behaving. Grace is reflected in her manner of speech, her relationship with others, her composure in public and also her style.

4. A true lady is true to her word, that is, she does not make promises and fail to fulfil them with trivial excuses. A lady should be trusted and capable of acting on her word.

5. Being a lady is not only abstract but physical in the sense that a lady has good style. Her appearance matters to her. Let’s face it, irrespective of the quote “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, a person with a good fashion style is perceived to be of a high standard. A lady knows the clothes that work for her and rocks them well.

6. Self-esteem, a true lady has high self-esteem. Self-esteem means a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities. Some call it ego, pride or self-regard. Either way, it is fundamental to have self-esteem for a lady, a lady who lacks self-esteem cannot command obedience.

7. From the 6th point, it is clear that a lady must command obedience. By obedience, I do not mean terrorism or authoritarianism like Adolf Hitler, I mean a lady knows to command respect at the right time and from the right set of people. This is couched in her aura, I read this book once and one of the characters was able to see and feel auras in colours, green meant that the other character had a lively aura, red meant a strong and dangerous aura, white meant a pure aura, brown meant a dull aura while yellow meant happy and excited. A true lady should strive to be green, white and yellow. People should be able to feel your presence when you walk in, not just by your cologne but by your attitude and grace.

8. Hygiene, OH MY GOD! This is a very sensitive point for me, hygiene is too important to ignore. NAILS!!! If there is one thing I am obsessed with, it has to be nails, especially my toenails. It’s important to keep your nails clean and carefully manicured (red is a classy colour). Also, hair, apparently most people are going natural now, if your hair is natural please keep it neat and tidy, it is important to have good hair, hair that at least fits your face. We all know that cleanliness is next to godliness so this clearly covers your environment too.

9. A lady has a good temper, most people can’t help their temper. But a true lady has self-control and knows when and how to vent. She either walks away when she is angry to avoid confrontation or takes a deep breath to calm down. A true lady has control of her emotions and knows how to act in public.

10. A lady is a leader, this is the most important to me, a lady knows how to lead. It could be an army, it could be 5 people but she knows how to lead and carry people along. She is a trailblazer and a trendsetter. She knows how to set the pace and carry people along, she uses her strong influence and reputable character to lead people to the right things.

From the above, it’s obvious that being a lady is not so easy but trust me, once you get it once, you will command kings, presidents and governors, whichever. Remember, a lady is a lady at all times.

P.S: Do not forget to smile

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