The concept of women only things would always be a subject of debate in any society. Women only group chats, women only awards and girls only schools tend to receive criticism in various forms.
While the idea of women only online communities, parties and events tend to be accepted with heavy criticism but accepted nonetheless, the idea of a girls only education is met with criticism even amongst feminists.
The best way to reach a conclusion is to speak with women who attended girls only schools to get their perspective on how it shaped them.
Urban Woman Magazine recently asked some of these women to share their stories.
Read their responses below.
OA
I think one of the best things my parents did for me was sending me to a single sex school. It normalised a lot of things for me, like seeing women lead things, women loving women age appropriately, and an authentic outlook on girlhood, sisterhood, and female friendships.
Competition was so much healthier, the sexism was not blatant too, and I think it gave us the opportunity to be just girls, stumbling through adolescence, finding safe spaces in other girls without the cattiness that the need for male validation often does to girls at that age.
For a child who was very shy and self conscious, it felt good to hear young girls say lovely things about me and help me believe them.
I think I also learned about the female gaze from the boarding house.
HN
Attending girls only school was one out of the myriad experience of my teenage life and is partly the reason I am in therapy until today. The novel I am working on now takes some of this base from this experience.
The girls especially the senior students where mostly unkind to the junior ones, they take your money and force you to labour for them.
In my case I was bullied for my looks, and being an attention seeker, resulting to why even today I try not to be seen especially when it is a group of women gathered.
These girls gathered and beat me up until I fainted, they woke me up and continued. I got lucky when a priest intervened.
The only good experience I had from being in an only girls school is quickly learning that women can do everything on their own, from tilling, to pumping water, to painting walls and even serving mass because it was a Catholic school.
But also I learnt that women are human, and are still as disgustingly evil as their male counterparts, the latter remains worse though. Especially when they have been raised to see each other as a competition.
No, I won’t let my daughter go to an only girls school. I did not have a good experience and I don’t want to try with them.
RA
I attended a girls’ only high school. It was a safe haven and helped influence how I saw myself as a woman, as we were always helping each other be better.
Adjusting in mixed spaces was a challenge at first till I started making a conscious effort to address it.
As wonderful as it was as I still hang out with classmates from time to time, I wouldn’t recommend it to my daughter who will be writing her common entrance examinations on Saturday because of the extra effort needed to adjust in mixed spaces. I want her to be ready to relate without any barrier.
HA
Going to a girls only school shielded me from so much sexism. I grew up believing that women could be leaders and girls could study science.
People say that girls who go to girls only schools don’t marry early and that is a huge misconception.
I think I’ll send my daughters to girls only schools. I may change my mind later.
PA
Attending a girls only school was fun in its own way coupled with the fact that it was a boarding school.
1. Girls only school made me very free with girls. It helped me get away with shyness as we did practically everything together….we ate in same dining, took our bath in same bathroom which most times twas even in an open space outside.
2. It helped me to know that what a man can do a woman can do and even do better cause we did everything ourselves and succeeded.
3. For me it wasn’t hard adjusting to mixed spaces cause my parents made me attend summer lessons during the holidays and we met guys there from other schools as early as my JS1.
4. As much as I enjoyed my days in high school and still have my major friends from that space I would not recommend it for my girl child, as I would want her to have the experience of relating in a mixed space early enough.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.