The body remains a site for political discourse and conversations.
Whether in terms of analysing what happens to women because we are born female or the expectations that arise because one is born Black, one cannot ignore the role the body plays in any social justice conversation.
It is also important to note that the ideal body or beauty standard affects women more than men because beauty is a currency women are expected to trade in relationships with men.
This expectation often leads to the shaming of women who do not fit into the ever changing and shifting body standards.
However, it is imperative that more women actively document how they learn to love their bodies and overcome the shaming of their bodies because if one is not comfortable in their skin, it can lead to extreme feelings that can be a pathway to self harm.
Urban Woman Magazine recently spoke to some women and asked them to share how they overcome body shaming.
Read their responses below.
Christiana
I used to consume a ton of content by influencers who looked like me at the time. Skinny with high cheekbones, long necks and small bodies.
Just filling my mind with images of those girls and avoiding content from women who look like what I was expected to look like.
I also listened to a ton of bad bitch music and tailored clothes to my size. Yes, I was still struggling so much but these things helped.
Happiness
Hi Angel, I hated being addressed as thin and long, because of how the words were used to taunt me while growing up. The body shaming became worse in senior secondary school because unfortunately I missed being hit by puberty. I remember visiting a friend in another class and their class jokester called me ‘flat chested’ for laughs and giggles.
My self esteem was very low and I subconsciously started looking for books and movies with lead characters that looked like me. I think the turning point was when I discovered KBS(Korean Broadcasting Station) and saw people who looked like me referred to as idols. I saw how they expressed their selves without feeling deficient. Slowly I began to tap into their confidence.
In my 100lvl, I had female friends who were obsessed with putting me down figure-wise. These ladies were not perfect but I would hype the qualities I see in them. I had to cut them off for my self-worth.
Currently, I navigate through body shaming by removing myself from any circle that is so focused on people’s flaws, be it mine or others. I style myself in flattering pieces, once in a while adding a few daring ones. Dressing up for nothing has been therapeutic.
I noticed recently that people who notice flaws in others and are mean to them about it are actually insecure about their bodies. In extreme cases, I make them aware of this.
Finally, I know I’m more than what my body shape states, I’m smart, beautiful, thoughtful and unconventionally intelligent. I remind myself of these.
Adesuwa
For me this has been since I was a child. My mum has always told me to suck in my stomach. Even now as an adult I struggle with my stomach size even though I’m slim. So everytime I get bloated or my stomach shows, I fight the urge to suck it in. I find it hard to exist without sucking in my stomach.
I haven’t really experienced colorism but from my mum I experienced being told to suck in my stomach and sometimes she’ll rub my nose really hard in an attempt to make it smaller.
A lot of my insecurities stem from my mum and secondary school bullying. I used to get bullied about my hair, height and about my form.
It took a lot for me to get to the point where I could feel good and wear clothes that make me feel good. I would say God and praying has helped a lot.
Realising that the people who made hurtful statements were projecting their own personal insecurities also helped me. Having people around you that also are not haters has helped.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.