The impact of the words used towards children can have long-lasting effects as they grow, especially when negative phrases are consistently thrown their way. The notion of telling a child to “toughen up” is cautioned against by psychologists due to the potential hindrances it can cause in adulthood. Licensed clinical psychologists Dr. Patricia Dixon and Dr. Natalie Feinblatt shed light on the repercussions of such language.
Dr. Dixon emphasizes the importance of how parents react when their children express their feelings, as it shapes how they manage emotions in adulthood. Being shut down and told to toughen up can lead to emotional struggles down the line. Dr. Feinblatt specializes in assisting individuals from high-control or abusive family backgrounds, noting that those told to toughen up may become high-functioning on the surface but dysregulated internally, feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected.
The effects of being told to toughen up as children can manifest in various ways in adulthood, as detailed by Dr. Dixon and Dr. Feinblatt. From anger and hyper-independence to self-invalidation and people-pleasing behaviors, the impact of such phrases can be profound. These psychologists highlight seven common traits seen in individuals who were told to toughen up in their formative years, shedding light on the complexities that arise from this type of language.
Instead of advocating for children to toughen up, Dr. Dixon and Dr. Feinblatt suggest a more supportive approach that validates emotions and encourages healthy emotional expression. By acknowledging and addressing feelings rather than dismissing them, children can learn to navigate their emotions effectively. Encouraging dialogue and problem-solving around emotions can cultivate emotional intelligence and resilience in children.
In conclusion, the words we choose to use with children can have a lasting impact on their emotional well-being and development. By fostering an environment that values emotional expression and support, we can empower children to navigate their feelings with confidence and resilience.
Peace Nero is a writer and blogger who loves to explore different topics of self-development. She shares her personal experiences in order to help people discover their true purpose in life.