The Importance Of Being A Girl’s Girl

One of my favourite novels by an African woman is His Only Wife which was written by Peace Adzo Medie, a Ghanaian writer and academic. 

It is a novel that explores themes like friendship, financial difficulties, family dynamics and cheating. 

Without giving too many spoilers in the novel, it is also a novel that explores the importance of women looking out for each other and being girl’s girls. 

The main character Afi was married to a rich man in a marriage that was arranged by his mother in order for him to leave a woman they didn’t like. Now, Afi had an older woman friend called Evelyn who was a source of encouragement and continually advised her to ensure that regardless of the negative situation, she used her husband’s wealth to build her own wealth. 

Now, although I sometimes did not agree with some of Evelyn’s views, they proved very useful to Afi because Afi ended up being successful even when things went south between her and her husband. 

She built a house for herself and her mother and her fashion business was also flourishing to the extent that she was thinking of opening stores in countries asides Ghana.

I have provided this backdrop to show the necessity of being a woman who not only benefits from being a girl’s girl, but also a woman who comes through for other women.

A girl’s girl to me is that woman who ensures to be a source of joy, light and encouragement to other women. 

She is also the woman who would not hide her feelings of discontent if she knows that the man a friend wants to go for has been abusive to other women. She is the woman who thinks of women first when she sees job opportunities and she is the woman who always strategises on ways she can improve the lives of women and girls. 

A girl’s girl is also that woman who will protect the women who have disagreed with her from the harms of patriarchy. For instance, it doesn’t matter if a woman has strongly disagreed with her on issues like living for men’s approval online. 

If that same woman is at a club and she notices that a man has spiked her drink with plans to rape her, a true girl’s girl will ensure to find a way for that drink to be spilled and for her to go home safe. 

In addition to the above, a girl’s girl does not slut shame women and is that woman who gives sexual health advice without slut shaming women. She is also the woman who does not keep misogynistic men as friends. She does not hang around men who are known abusers, she is not forgiving of men who are rapists and she makes no space for abusers in her circle no matter what.

Speaking with Gladys, she says that girl’s girls are “less judging and more supportive”.

In her words: “I have benefited from knowing and being a girl’s girl. It’s one of the beautiful memories I have for this year, how women just love and support me without knowing, judging or wanting anything more than my progress or happiness. They’re less judging, and more supportive. For me, their impact has been in my career.

From referring me for a gig, to vouching for me even when we aren’t so close, to putting my name in spaces and talking me to be more confident and excelling.”

For Adesuwa, she says that: “For me all the love that have come from relationships outside familial ones, have been my circle of friends”. 

She also said that friendships and conversations with girl’s girls are better than those with male centred women.

The importance of being a girl’s girl cannot be underestimated. We live in a world that is heavily violent and unfair towards women and girls. 

Being a girl’s girl and having women who are intentional about women’s rights and protections is one way of letting ourselves know that we are not mistakes as women.

It is therefore imperative that we continually choose ourselves as women in everything we do as that is the greatest feminist affirmation.

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