I was raised Christian. Most of my early years were spent in church and engaging in religious activities. If I close my eyes, I can still picture myself reciting memory verses at age seven in front of the whole church.
Although I was raised Christian, for some reason, certain problematic verses only came to my consciousness when I was much older.
In all honesty, I was past ten years old before I learnt that women were required to be submissive to their husbands. Yes I knew about modesty doctrines. Yes I knew that women were the ones taught that our bodies and sexuality caused men to sin.
But, I cannot remember hearing about submission until much later. It was not only submission that I heard about much later and I cannot remember when exactly I heard about submission.
The other problematic verse in the Bible that I encountered later was the injunction that women be silent and learn in full submission. In my journey as a feminist, I have seen several people try to make sense of that verse and the in-your-face misogyny of it.
I have also seen people imply that women talk a lot and a “good woman” is the one whose tongue is bridled.
I was reminded of that Biblical verse when earlier this week, it was reported that the Taliban, a misogynist Islamist group based in Afghanistan had made a new law banning women from hearing other women’s voices.
If there is one thing I strongly believe in, it is that just as women worldover experience similar things with only slight differences in manifestation, then men and invariably sexist structures hardly are innovative in how they choose to oppress women. It seems to be that they all read from the same misogyny handbook and only slightly tweak it.
The Taliban banning women from hearing other women’s voices is similar to the Bible instructing women to learn in silence and full submission. The real question here is why? Why is there a fear of women speaking to ourselves and sharing information?
Is it because men actually understand the power that talking women possess? Is it because the women who men label as “loud, gossips and talkatives” are the ones who are very much aware that their voices can cause other women to reach for the stars?
When men shame women only groups, girls trips and situations where there is no man present to rein in the tongues of women, is it because they are fully aware that more women talking from a feminist perspective can and will undo the belief that men are a special species to be worshipped?
What is it about women speaking to other women that causes men to become so afraid? A fear that sees abusers isolate their wives and girlfriends from the female friends who can point out flaws to them? Has the truth always been that with our voices as women, we can start revolutions, heal and return hope back into our spirits?
That with our voices the patriarchy can and will be rendered lifeless and without the power to shame us into a hatred and competition of and with one another?
Speaking with Oke*, she explains that women speaking up about their issues continues to pave the way for women coming after.
In her words: “Women are shamed for sharing information and having community especially in patriarchal societies because information/knowledge is power. Women’s speech and thoughts being commonised and chalked down to gossip comes from an idea that women are not logically or intellectually capable. The truth is that women are generally seen as inferior or weak, so anything that comes from them is subpar and shouldn’t be taken seriously. It’s the same way men say that women are not funny, which is a terrible lie.
Also information leads to freedom (especially freedom to make better choices) and many men don’t want that. Men don’t want women to talk about periods or pregnancy or masturbation or abuse because they don’t want other women to be aware. An uninformed woman is an easy prey.”
She went on to say: “I’ve learnt a lot from women sharing. I’ve learnt a lot about my body, men, career, feminism just from women speaking out. Women need to know that their voices are powerful. Just speaking, even about things you may see as mundane can go a long way.
I remember being repeatedly assaulted by a friend in secondary school and I kept blaming myself for it. One day in the hostel, a girl brought the person up and described the same thing I was experiencing. Then others started speaking out too. Even though they laughed the situation off, her speaking about it brought me peace. I stopped blaming myself because I knew it wasn’t my fault.
The Taliban law just shows that we are regressing terribly as humans. It shows that patriarchy is still in full swing and feminists need to amplify and speak up for those who can’t. The situation makes me sad but I think it’s an open call that this thing can happen to any of us. Men clearly don’t want women speaking up and they are willing to manipulate laws, religion and politics to stifle our voices.
Women, your voice is your power. Best way to find your voice is to start with yourself. Engage in self-talk. Talk to women around you. It’s our right to speak and be heard. Don’t let anyone shut you down.”
Women’s voices matter. Women’s opinions are needed. Women’s vocal genius is necessary.
For the simple fact that women are human, our voices shall always matter. That reason is why women must own our voices and refuse to hide in the shadows to keep anyone comfortable.
*Name changed to protect identity
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.