One of the worst things that can ever happen to a woman is not knowing how to say no and being a people pleaser.
This gets worse in the workplace where boundaries need to be drawn and where ideally women need to know how to properly advocate for their work, needs and ambitions. This is so that other people don’t get the credit for what they worked on and so that they are also not overworked.
However, being a people pleaser comes with the fear of confrontation and is often the sign of low self esteem. But there are ways to overcome how it manifests in the workplace.
In our latest listicle, Urban Woman Magazine asked some women to share tips to overcoming people pleasing and setting boundaries in the workplace.
Read their responses below.
A
Setting boundaries by politely saying no or declining requests especially if it’s not your task. That not picking up late calls cause some people think they can call you at 12am.
TG
This is a personal experience I’m about to share. You know how they say: “We learn from experiences not to repeat them again. Especially when these experiences are not positive right?”.
So I got a new job in November and I would say that I have seen the worst of the worst. What do I mean? I’ve worked with amazing people in the past and even till today we still talk. But there are certain people that you meet and you do not want to have anything to do with them outside the workspace.
There’s a lady I’m working with who I believe feels threatened by me and does not want to see me excel.
That said, in order to stop people pleasing in the workplace, most times I usually advice people to effectively document every achievement made and keep records. Also try to adapt to the mode of communication in your workspace. If they say “ma/sir”, do that and similarly, if it is a first name only work policy, maintain the first names.
You have to set boundaries for yourself. Boundaries between your work and personal life. I know sometimes that work can interfere in terms of impromptu engagement but you need to ensure that it doesn’t in any way affect you personally. You have to ensure your time is your time. You must ensure not to give people reasons why you should go on a leave. I think that’s what I discovered recently. I know of a particular friend of mine who ensures to take her leave. She’s worked for it and she takes it without providing endless reasons why she should go for it.
You do not give anyone reasons to walk over you.
Follow the work culture, record every idea that you brought up that was executed and no matter what happens, always prioritise yourself, your peace and your happiness. Never let anyone make you feel like you are less than you are.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.