Although menstruation is an integral part of a woman’s experience and a necessary part of the continuation of the human species, it is often shrouded in shame and silence.
Women are shamed for speaking about their periods and pain from period disorders like PCOS and endometriosis are often waved aside as a normal occurrence.
But more women need to be given the space to adequately talk about their period journeys.
This would help break the shame surrounding periods.
To do this, Urban Woman Magazine asked some women to share how their first period happened and the highs and lows of menstruating since then.
Read their responses below.
OE
I told my dad when I got my first period, he was since then tasked with buying me pads. I didn’t tell my mom I had started.
One day, years after I had started, she asked if I hadn’t started menstruating and I told her I had started like 2 years back. She was shocked I didn’t tell her, but I told my dad.
I once kept used pads in my box, because I didn’t know what to do with them 😂
My roommates in school noticed that something was smelling, and the found my nylon of used pads 😭 I was so ashamed and embarrassed and shy. They kept saying: “Didn’t your mommy teach you?”. But she didn’t.
As at that time, period was kind of a shameful thing. In my boarding school, we used to hide when we were on our flow; especially those girls that started since jss1.
I hope that is no longer the case now. We need more sensitization on period matters. And one that includes men too.
There should also be no shame in buying pads.
OK
My first period came when I was 14. It came with serious nerve racking pain. I was so irritated it came because I had been seriously hoping for a smooth one.
Always have a pad with you, especially if you have an irregular one. If you have heavy periods, the best sleeping position is to lay on your sides with big pillows to support.
KI
First before I had my first period, I lied about my period. A classmate in secondary school had seen hers in JSS 2, she was also the first to wear a bra so I was jealous. It was during the 2nd term holiday, I went to visit my Grandma and I faked that I had seen my period. As usual, I was given the prep talk and all of that.
I got back home and started pouring Black Currant Eve on my pants in order to fake blood and deceive my mum ( I was deceiving myself anyways). After the 2nd month, I couldn’t keep up so I ended the charade.
Back to the question, I saw my period 3 months after the whole drama. I was excited. It started with a stomach ache then a blood stain on my panties. I told my mum and I was asked to make use of toilet paper while I went to buy a sanitary pad.
I don’t know if it’s a misconception but as a sweet tooth and frequent junk eater, do away with junk. Warm water with lemon slices is good for the belly, change your sanitary pad at five hours interval, regular bath, eating a lot of fruits ( fruits helped my pains), cotton panties at all times and tights for extra security of your pad placing.
Your period can make you cranky, the pain, it’s definitely uncomfortable as one wouldn’t be as free as a bird with the constant stain check, maintaining absolute cleanliness but your wellbeing shouldn’t be compromised.
OU
My first period happened in front of the whole class. I was 15 years old and in SS3. Most embarrassing day of my entire life, thankfully it was a same sex school so the humiliation was a little less devastating.
I remember feeling very tired the morning of that day, I slept off during a lesson and was awoken to go and stand in front of the class as punishment.
That was when everyone started laughing and pointing at my skirt😭😭
The teacher was nice and handled it well sha, bless her.
For advice? Do not feel guilty for taking drugs that will ease the pain and no, it will not affect your fertility. That’s a lie. There’s no “Best In Enduring Cramps” award.
DA
I was 11 years old when I got my first period, and it happened on Christmas Day, which completely ruined my plans to go swimming with my siblings. I had always loved biology and basic science, especially topics about the human body. I read extensively about the uterus, menstruation, and female anatomy. At school, Always visited and gave us pads along with a leaflet explaining the menstrual cycle. I read that leaflet like it was a textbook. Even though I hadn’t started menstruating yet, I truly believed I was prepared.
But nothing prepared me for the pain.
The cramps were unbearable, like something was tearing me apart from the inside. I had seen my older sister use pads and assumed my experience would be just like hers. She never complained of cramps, so I thought it would be simple. Mine was completely different. I remember sitting in the toilet for nearly an hour, confused and just basically sad wondering where the so-called “magic” was in all this. Everyone made it sound like getting your period made you a woman, like it was a proud and exciting milestone. But I was just 11, and I certainly did not have sense, and the pain made me feel anything but grown.
Eventually, I went to the living room and told my mom and aunt. They were happy and asked if I had a pad.
They asked my sister to get me one. But I was deeply sad. My mood dropped completely. And to this day, no matter how much I prepare, the moment I see blood on my panties, my mood shifts. It brings back the memory of that first experience 😂
One thing I strongly dislike is the stigma around tampons and menstrual cups. I have a friend who is very committed to purity culture. She believes that inserting anything into her body makes her impure or no longer a virgin. She is so focused on appearing “pure” that she refuses to even consider using tampons or menstrual cups, no matter how much I try to explain. Through our conversations, I realized that many other women share this mindset.
In NYSC camp, my roommates judged me for using a menstrual cup. They wondered why I would insert anything into myself “just because of a period.” It was uncomfortable, but I didn’t feel ashamed. I actually love my menstrual cup. It works well for me, and I believe women should never be shamed for how they choose to manage their periods.
If I could offer advice to younger girls, I would suggest drinking a mixture of ginger, cinnamon, and clove about a week before their period starts. Boil it and drink it daily in the days leading up to menstruation. It helps with bloating and cramps and makes the entire period experience more manageable. Also, reduce intake of processed and fried foods, especially noodles, potatoes, and plantains. Making these changes has helped me have much easier periods over the past few months.
Shukrah
My first period happened when I was 14 years old. I was at home when it happened. I’d been anticipating it before it happened because my school principal gathered all the girls in the school and asked if we’ve started. If you’ve not started by age 13, she said we needed spiritual head cleansing that it was too late.
Back to the day it started, I didn’t tell anyone because there was no one I felt close enough to, to want to share the news with. I tore an old wrapper and fixed it in my pant (super uncomfortable). I told my aunty who I lived with later at night and she gave me the usual lecture. She didn’t offer to buy me a pad. I used a rag everytime unless I was able to save towards it. My aunty would even accuse me of stealing her money whenever she sees me using pad. I learnt how to use pad through trial and error.
Period misconception I hate is lying that you could literally get pregnant once a guy *touches* you.
Period tip: Allow breeze touch your pussycat once your flow reduces and you’re indoors.
VE
My first period happen in Jss 1. I was almost 10 or so.
I went to pee and saw it in my pants. I didn’t speak to my mom about it because I was afraid she’d shout at me or be dramatic about it.
Period misconception I hate? The belief that menstrual cramps are normal (They are not).
Period tips? Look for a sanitary product that you’re comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to go to the hospital to get checked if you feel your period is moving weird. It could save your life.
MJ
I got my first period at 13. I wasn’t exactly shocked. It had been on my radar for a while. I had a phone and had read so much about it online, even though most of it still left me a bit confused. Luckily, Ladycare came to my school around that time and gave us our first sanitary pads. I didn’t fully understand how to use them, but they were patient and kind, explaining everything we needed to know about menstruation.
For a while, I was one of the lucky ones—no cramps, just three smooth days. Then I turned 16, and it felt like my body said “surprise!” The cramps started showing up before and during my period. Afterwards, I had to deal with uncomfortable queefs. I leaned on painkillers too heavily at one point, and that led to an ulcer. It’s been a journey.
One of the most upsetting period misconceptions I’ve encountered is the idea that menstruation makes women “unclean” or “impure.” Seriously? A process this natural and scientifically recognized as part of reproductive health? That belief is soaked in misogyny, ignorance, and shame. Menstruation isn’t a curse or flaw; it’s biology doing what it’s meant to do. Another harmful myth is that “painful periods are normal” and women should just “deal with it.” No. Pain may be common, but it’s not normal. Don’t dismiss it. Track it. Get help.
For younger women navigating this space:
Track your cycle with a calendar or app; it helps you know what to expect.
Always carry an emergency pad or tampon in your bag, you never know.
Don’t ignore pain; speak to a doctor if it gets too much. (I still haven’t seen a doctor)
Rest when your body needs it; period fatigue is real.
Stay hydrated, eat fruits, and reduce sugar intake. It helps more than you think.
And most importantly, talk about it. There’s no shame in menstruating.
EB
I can’t remember my first period biko. I’m an old woman.
I don’t even know if this follows, but I wish we can tone down on the secrecy and hush-hush surrounding periods.
Imagine a guy asked a lady beside him to go tell another lady in front of them that she’s got period stains on her clothes. Babe said she ain’t telling her. Guy had to go tell her.
What’s so difficult in walking up to someone to tell them she’s stained?
We should BOLDLY discuss menstruation, the pains, the stains, the hygiene, the products, and everything that concerns this normal part of being a she.
DE
It started on Christmas day on my way to church. I just want women to know that their period blood isn’t dirty or whatever religion says it is—it is like any bodily fluid.
Also, never allow gynaecologists to gaslight you when it comes to your pain. Request for tests and scans to be sure your period pain is normal.
MO
My period started a few months after I turned 10, just as I was preparing to begin secondary school. It came as a surprise not just to me, but to my mom and sister as well. Their first reaction was calm but concerned but they gently asked if anyone had touched me, wondering why my period came so early. I reassured them that nothing like that had happened. After that, they gently guided me through everything including how to care for myself, properly dispose of pads, and manage my hygiene properly during my periods.
What I didn’t expect was the attention I began receiving when school resumed. The first three days of my period were often so painful that I couldn’t concentrate in class. My teachers noticed and would usually excuse me to go rest in my hostel. Eventually, everyone in my class could tell when I was on my period. It wasn’t attention I wanted, but thankfully, it never led to stigma. Instead, it made me a sort of “period big-sis” to my peers. As other girls began their cycles, they would come to me for guidance, and I was always happy to share what I’d learned from the women in my family.
One of my favorite hacks passed down from my sister is placing a folded roll of tissue between your butt cheeks when lying down. It helps prevent stains and honestly, it’s a game changer, especially for heavy flows.
One major misconception I strongly dislike is how people normalize the pain that comes with periods, as if it’s something we should just “deal with” in silence. Also, calling periods “dirty” is just absurd. Imagine labeling a body that bleeds simply because it could carry life as dirty? That mindset needs to go.
To any woman or girl reading this: prioritize your hygiene, carry pads or tampons with you if you can (you never know who you might help), and don’t be afraid to medicate for the pain. I fainted multiple times during my early years of menstruation and pain is not something you should endure without help. Take care of yourself and speak about your experiences, it helps more than you know.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.