Ever found yourself in a social situation where you just aren’t quite meshing with the group around you? That feeling of disconnect could be due to something you said without even realizing it. Certain phrases have the power to instantly turn people off, especially in group settings. Emmy Award-winning journalist and etiquette expert, Nick Leighton, has seen this happen time and time again. From unintentionally offensive comments to dismissive remarks, here are 11 phrases that can make you instantly unlikable in a group.
One phrase to steer clear of is starting off with “I don’t mean to be rude, but…” According to Leighton, this signals to others that something cruel is about to follow. Another phrase to avoid is “I told you so,” as it can come across as smug and condescending, damaging relationships in the process.
Words like “Why are you so sensitive?” and “Calm down” can dismiss others’ feelings and make you appear condescending. And phrases like “I’m just being honest” can make you come off as blunt or self-righteous.
Saying “Relax, it was just a joke” might not have the reassuring effect you think it does, and it can actually make you seem insensitive. Even something as seemingly neutral as “Wow, really?” can be interpreted as sarcastic or judgmental.
To avoid these likability-killing phrases, try pausing before you speak to think about your response. Being clear and confident with your words, owning your opinions without disclaimers, can help you communicate effectively and remain likable.
In group settings, showing genuine interest in others’ perspectives, acknowledging their ideas, and inviting participation can make you more likable. Humility, like admitting when you don’t know something, can also go a long way in building positive relationships.
In the end, being mindful of the words you choose can have a big impact on how others perceive you. By avoiding these phrases and opting for more positive and inclusive language, you can improve your personal and professional relationships. So watch your words, and watch your likability soar.
Peace Nero is a writer and blogger who loves to explore different topics of self-development. She shares her personal experiences in order to help people discover their true purpose in life.