You have probably heard the South African slang “blesser” and “blessee” used quite often on the net and even among them.
A blesser is used in describing an older man who provides a younger girl (the blessee) with a lot of money, expensive gifts and trips in exchange for regular sexual favors.
Though Blessers are commonly mistaken for sugar daddies, they are richer and usually have a lot of blessees at a time. The ladies who accept these gifts and give the sexual favors are called blessees.
Many times, a blesser is seen as a solution to ones financial problems. Also peer pressure makes young girls get into these sort of relationships. In South Africa, most women who are blessees are between the ages of 16-30. They range from young teenagers who want to show the world that they are mature and “independent” to the young woman who is just in need of financial help and is in a bad financial situation at the time.
These blessers offer them with a very lavish lifestyle which they would not be able to afford on a normal day.
As mentioned earlier, this leaves the girls with a high risk of contracting infections and diseases like HIV/AIDS. This is because these blessers may be married and also have even more blesses at their beck and call.
Therefore, to them, none of their blessees are indispensable. These blessees eager to prove their worth to the blessers engage in risky sexual behaviors like having sex without a condom etc.
Also, young women often feel more trusting with older men than younger men and this is another reason why they engage in risky sexual behaviors. They usually feel the older man has more experience and is trustworthy. But we all know that this is not true as older men can in fact be involved in risky sexual behaviors too.
Most blessees have the mindset that they would rather have sex with someone who gives them money in return than have sex with a boyfriend who does not have money. According to them, they are empowering themselves.
Some women even have two or more blessers who take care of different responsibilities. Karabo (not real name) who lives off two blessers explains that she had to look for blessees because of the high cost of living. She has three blessees who have different roles in her lives and who she in return gives sexual favors.
According to her, two of the blessers know that they are not the only ones in her life. The one who is oblivious of this fact is the one she loves.
When asked if she isn’t scared of contracting diseases from any of them, she says that she had tests done before she started the relationship with all of them. Though, she admits she is aware she is not the only blessee in their life, she says this is just for a short while.
She is saving money from the blessees to start a new life.
It would interest you to know that the males who engage in these sort of relationships with an older female in exchange for money etc are not referred to as blessees. However, the older women in these relationships are referred to as sugar mommies.
In Nigeria, while these kinds of relationship exist, they are not referred to as “blessee-blesser” relationship. Here the term is more of “sugar-daddy” or “sugar-mommy” relationship. It is not uncommon to see or hear of young girls and boys engage in these sort of affairs in exchange for money and a lavish lifestyle.
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