As you may already be aware, narcissism is essentially having an inflated ego. However, it’s important to note the distinction between narcissistic tendencies and narcissistic personality disorder, a diagnosable mental health condition. People often fall on a narcissistic spectrum rather than fitting neatly into one category. High-level narcissists, in particular, are skilled manipulators in addition to having narcissistic traits.
In romantic, work, and other relationships, high-level narcissists have a playbook of tactics to gain control and manipulate perspectives. Recognizing these tactics is crucial in learning how to respond effectively. Here are eight phrases that high-level narcissists often use and how to handle them.
1. “Nothing I ever do is enough for you. I’m always in the wrong.”
This phrase deflects focus from the narcissist’s behavior and onto the victim’s anger or inadequacy. Respond with a focus on the specific behavior that upset you.
2. “I built this place.”
Used to assert ownership and power, this phrase can rewrite history and diminish the work of others. Respond by acknowledging the team’s contributions.
3. “Why can’t you just let things go? You’re always bringing up the past.”
This phrase is meant to pressure you to stop voicing your hurt and suggests that you’re overreacting. Respond by addressing the repeated pattern that hasn’t been changed.
4. “If you were loyal, you’d agree with me.”
Designed to silence critics, this phrase weaponizes loyalty and control. Respond by reaffirming your commitment to shared goals.
5. “Nobody cares about you the way I do. I’ve done everything for you and nothing for myself.”
Encouraging isolation, this phrase creates an obligation dynamic. Respond by asserting your own needs and boundaries.
6. “You’re too sensitive.”
A classic example of gaslighting, this phrase shifts accountability. Respond by calmly addressing the behavior rather than reacting to it.
7. “You’re the only one who thinks that. You’re crazy.”
This phrase undermines confidence and reality. Respond by maintaining your perspective and sense of calm.
8. “I’m just being honest.”
This phrase often covers up cruelty. Respond by reasserting the standards for constructive dialogue.
Responding to high-level narcissists can be challenging but grounding yourself in your core values, setting boundaries, and seeking support can help maintain your sense of self. Remember, the focus is on taking care of yourself and preserving your well-being.
Peace Nero is a writer and blogger who loves to explore different topics of self-development. She shares her personal experiences in order to help people discover their true purpose in life.