One of my favourite and not so favourite things about the internet is the way it exposes me to views and thought patterns that I hardly gave thought to growing up.
Even more, due to social media, I am forced to realise that the things I consider non-issues are actually issues that women lose their lives over.
Take travelling for example. Growing up, although we are not the richest Nigerian family, I remember my mum used to take trips out of the country. Some of my earliest memories revolve around the entire family going to drop my mother off at the airport.
Some were work trips. Some were trips for events. The point is that I grew up seeing my mother travel and I never saw women travelling as an issue.
Imagine my surprise when I became active on social media and I discovered that women were not only shamed for travelling solo, but were also shamed for taking pictures in hotel rooms. I am still unable to fully capture the shock that I felt encountering that knowledge and worldview.
This is because not only do I want to have money to travel the world and experience new cultures, I am someone who likes the hotel experience and enjoys taking pictures in what some may term luxury places.
But not everyone thinks the way I do and even more, there are women too who are appalled with the idea of a woman having agency enough to take trips outside her home country and actively document those trips.
To illustrate the above point I’ll give two examples. The first example is Gabaris Kufilan, an ex-Muslim female solo traveller who is also the first Somali female solo traveller. I enjoy her essays and articles and one thing that struck me was her saying she receives hateful messages from women still in Islam who insult her for travelling the world.
As much as I respect every woman’s right to a faith, it does call for questioning why women having agency and the very basic right to movement and mobility seems to be almost antithetical to Abrahamic religions.
This is such that some religions require women to have male guardians to the extent that women driving is seen as a cultural taboo.
The second example is that of Alma Asinobi, a Nigerian travel blogger and content creator.
One thing I deeply love about Alma’s content is that she is Igbo like me and inspires me to want to explore the places around me that I can afford. I also like how intentional she is in documenting her growth careerwise.
Still, I cannot ignore the fact that Nigerians never pass up an opportunity to insult women like her who are travel bloggers and influencers as women of little moral value.
And why does of any of this exist? Why have we created a world where women feel comfortable entering into marriage with little or no knowledge of how to drive themselves?
Why do we shame the women who are divorced or single and whose Instagram feeds are filled with places they have been to? Even more, why is it that for the women who are married and who do travel, there is the niggling question of if they have gotten their husband’s permission and approval?
What exactly fuels the way women are shamed for wanting to travel, be mobile and explore new places?
Speaking with Chikadibia, a copywriter and blogger, she says that it all comes down to the way sexist societies try to limit women’s movement.
In her words: “Hmmmmm. There are many reasons:
1. Patriarchal Control: Many societies still believe a woman should be “rooted” to home and family, while men have the freedom to explore.
2. Sexuality & Respectability Politics: Some assume that women who travel, especially solo, are engaging in immoral activities. I even saw a post by one Twitter red pill account telling men to avoid women that travel because they seem loose.
3. Financial Independence Scrutiny: Women who fund their travels are often questioned. “Who is paying for it?”, implying they cannot afford it without male sponsorship or sugar daddies.
4. Fear & Protectionism: Some shaming is disguised as concern, with people saying, “The world is dangerous for women.” While safety is a real issue, this narrative is often used to control rather than protect.”
When asked for tips on how women who want to travel can ensure their goal is met she went on to say: “Some tips I can share for women that are scared of traveling alone is to start small by travelling to nearby places first to build confidence before taking long trips.
They can also do proper research for safe destinations, accommodation, and emergency contacts.
Join women travel groups for advice, safety tips, and connections. And lastly, document everything. Share your itinerary with trusted people and always stay in touch.”
Freedom of movement is a fundamental human right.
The shaming of women who love to travel must be taken as a backlash against women’s overall right to mobility.
Therefore, it is important that more women unlearn the fear attached to travelling, living away from family members and enjoying our solitude because as “little” as it seems, these our freedoms that were fought for.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.