In any environment where human beings exist in, conflict is bound to occur. However, setting boundaries and having standards and policies can help to mitigate the harm and prevent conflicts from escalating.
That said, women as a group are often raised to be fearful and without boundaries even in the workplace. Especially in the workplace.
Some women have overcome this behaviour and are intentional about not being people pleasers.
Urban Woman Magazine recently spoke to some of these women and asked them to share how they set workplace boundaries.
Read their responses below.
Doyin
One thing I know is that men know how to test the waters before the swim. If the waves are heavy, they run away.
They would make sexual jokes expecting you to laugh, jokes reducing women, and if they see you are one to encourage them, they continue, and you eventually become a victim.
That’s one way I’ve been able to “check” the men at my PPA.
They would make sexist jokes expecting me to laugh, and I turn away. Rub my face or palm and expect me to reciprocate. Last week I told the “office toucher” not to touch me again. Even though he still decided to rub my face at that moment to prove a stupid point and I didn’t smile, he eventually stopped touching me all together unless I’m giving him a good morning handshake.
Uju
Hi. Mine would be to never date your boss no matter what. You’ve no protection when it goes wrong.
Fathia
Well, I let my stance be known from the beginning. I am a very nice and mean person at the same time. I mostly reciprocate the energy given.
So, if I see that you disrespect women and talk badly about women, I most likely will be mean to you, and if you do the opposite, I will be nice to you but with caution.
For example, at my present workplace, one of my coworkers is always fond of touching me, and I always warn him verbally, but he randomly said something one day ‘Are we not all adults?’ My head sparked. The next day, I sent him a message, ever since then, he has respected himself.
I left a workspace and was jobless for like three months or less.
He (my coworker) was initially nice at first, but would casually flirt with me, but I overlooked it because he was not crossing his boundaries, and I mean I am a fine girl nah but then he changed towards me when he found out I was in a relationship. He started becoming so mean that he kicked my sister out of the office when she came to see me, and a whole lot.
He escalated it one time, and I couldn’t take it, so it kind of led to a fight, in which I later told my boss, and he didn’t handle it well, so I resigned and left.
Mind you, I have reported him on several cases, but the matter was taken with leniency. So I left when I had my final straw.
Always ask questions, record any suspicious act, be cautious of overly kind people (they mostly have ulterior motives), and always have a backup plan so that you have the liberty to leave.
Also, don’t get into office romance; the woman mostly always loses.
PC
Very interesting subject matter! I’m sure a lot of us would have interesting stories to share. A big one for me is people in the workplace mistaking assertiveness for being rude because they’re not used to women being verbal and straightforward about things.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.