Lots of people deal with the feeling of not being good enough. It is not uncommon to hear about people being nervous when they get a new job or new role.
However, for women, the experience and feelings behind impostor syndrome can be gendered.
This is because women are generally raised to have low self esteem and are less willing to talk with pride about their skills if those skills are not in service to men’s needs.
But some women have overcome impostor syndrome or are actively taking steps to see it become a thing of the past.
Urban Woman Magazine recently spoke to some of these women and asked them to share their journey to overcoming it.
Read their responses below.
Bessie
I’m a ghostwriter, and I used to have horrible impostor syndrome everytime I got a new gig, especially when the new pay was bigger than my last one.
I don’t exactly know why it happens, but reviewing my past work and client appreciations used to kick me right out of the self-jail rot.
I’ve never passed on an opportunity before, the impostor syndrome always hits when I’m just about to start on the project.
It helps to remind yourself that you’re the shit.
I also noticed taking time to relax and changing your environment is important, like a fresh perspective, it always worked for me.
Naomi
The major reason for women having imposter syndrome in my opinion is the fact that over time in society, we have to take the back burner. It is not that all women naturally are less confident or afraid, but because they (most times other women) tell you to keep quiet, don’t talk too much, don’t laugh too loud, you have to be feminine, you have to be womanly or you shouldn’t do too much, you should do just enough. Those ideals dampen your self esteem, you then do not want to cause a scene or bring attention to yourself.
I try to overcome it by affirmations, by talking to my friends like the beautiful Ewawumi, and it has helped. When you are able to get rid of that initial fear and open yourself up to vulnerability you tend to be more sure of yourself because you now have a support system. So building a support system is another thing for me where I know that I have people that I can talk to just ease the strain.
Another thing I do is I have a log of what I have done. I am a productivity whore and it is easy for me to ignore that I did stuff. It doesn’t help all the time because now I’m in a slump, but it helps.
Lastly, my mom told me about when she had gotten an interview for UBA. She was certified and capable of accounting, but she didn’t have her BSc. She instead called them and told them that she didn’t have a Bsc instead of just going for the interview first. More like she put her flaws on the front burner. She didn’t get a call back.
AO
I was so desperate to get a job, I made myself small to get into the system and was underpaid as a result.
Making myself smaller triggered the imposter syndrome that showing up as myself would not be acceptable and therefore my self esteem was low. I could not speak up for myself or be myself just because I wanted to fit in.
Instead of getting encouragement, my self esteem got so battered, that I became a ghost at work. I got fired, but I eventually got to be bold and audaciously me since then.
This is what helped me:
Self affirmation.
Support system of friends who see me.
Doing what I enjoy and putting in the work to get better daily.
Accepting me for who I am and removing unnecessary pressure to be what I am not.
That I am enough.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.