Love would always be a part of the human experience. However, certain types of love are frowned upon. For instance, same sex love between women tends to either be outrightly shamed or placed as that which must exist for men’s consumption.
It is therefore important that we talk about sapphic love first from the perspective of same sex attracted women.
This is so that their perspectives are placed front and center in issues about love and romance.
To do this, in our recent piece, Urban Woman Magazine asked some queer women to share their love stories.
Read their responses below.
EA
I met my current partner through my friend. My friend actually liked her but was never going to chase her.
So I did it for fun because I had the means and I was fresh from a toxic relationship. I flew across the country and swept her clean off her feet.
Little did I know that this girl was going to be perfect for me. And she fell in love with me. I fell in love with her too. It was perfect.
Unfortunately it damaged my friendship but I don’t regret it.
My girlfriend is the best. She’s a partner through and through. Knowing she loves me keeps me going and going.
I’m very pleased with myself and with who I am with her.
Our independent futures matched so well that merging felt like destiny. I could go on and on and on.
IL
You know I think only one woman has ever been sweet to me. And it’s been 13years now. She relocated.
The one I met recently, chief of gaslight. Called what I thought meant something to her, a situationship. Yea, done scouting for women mehn. Maybe if someone seeks me out, yea.
AO
I met my current girlfriend on a group early last year. I had come off a surgery, couldn’t walk and sworn off dating for the next 3 years.
She stayed as a friend and in March she asked me out, before then I knew that was a detour I was going to dive headfirst into.
Being in love with a woman genuinely feels like being alive.
A couple of people say that a man’s best effort is a woman’s casual and that’s not a lie. This is even more true when it’s with a person that’s your friend as much as they are your lover. I used to think I was asexual till I met J, then I found out I just hadn’t felt safe enough to be as wild as I could be.
She’s met my siblings and a lot of my friends but not my parents, I’m not out to them. They know I have a lover by the major money moves but they don’t know who said lover is. My best part of the relationship is sleeping. I love that our bodies settle enough to fall asleep when we are together. Individually we both struggle to sleep but when I’m with her I’m off.
Also that we are a team. United in all the ways that matter and the ones that seemingly don’t.
Loving her is woven into the fabric of my being.
Homophobia is a thing but we no face and no case it till we are in a safer space. Also we are learning that money provides a sort of cushion, some form of financial stability softens your landing.
GZ
Sooooo I always thought I was like 100 percent straight until 2019, when I met Hannah (not real names). She just walked in and I got the usual butterflies in my stomach, heart in my throat sort of thing. Like I KNEW what a romantic crush felt like and I was like, okay.
Unfortunately I couldn’t even hint at my feelings because she was the unit coordinator in church. How could I even mention it? I had to distance myself and it was so painful. I think that actually led me into a rebound relationship (that crashed horribly – but another time). We eventually lost touch when she graduated before me.
Sometimes I think of her and I hope she’s okay.
I’m thinking of seeking out spaces to explore my feelings but I don’t want to hurt anyone like I’ve been hurt.
Sometimes I fantasize about marrying a woman. But homophobia na my mate? My folks disowning me is the *best* possible reaction to my ever coming out.
I don’t know. I really don’t know.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.