In the past five years, there has been a surge in content that tells women to give up their ability to make money and instead rely on men financially.
However, it must be acknowledged that money gives power and women have often been disadvantaged in the power dynamics that come with money.
What is now necessary is to document the women who are intentional about building wealth and encouraging other women to build wealth.
In our recent listicle, Urban Woman Magazine asked women to share what they consider the benefits that come with having money of theirs.
Read their responses below.
Jenroluwa*
Irrespective of being a man or woman, money brings this confidence that hits even if it’s peanuts. Why do we think men have the audacity to oppress and dare societal norms? Because money brings influence.
Back to women. Growing up in a family setting where my mum was the major hustler before I joined, I never in the slightest envisioned a man coming to save me. I mean if my father didn’t then who would?
Everything I have earned has been through my blood and sweat and it has influenced my dating life especially when men say I demand too much.
I mean I am not talking just financially to them. I demand respect and they know I can do this because I have my change that any fuck up makes me return to my independent shell. Isn’t that confidence enough? Still proud I am not married to nonsense as I near 30 ever so slightly.
Sylvia
My financial advice to any young girl is:
Always have your money. Yours. Not your man’s, parent’s, friend’s. Nope. Your money in your name, in your account.
You owe yourself a level of responsibility that can only be proven when you can adequately and comfortably cater to your own needs.
So work hard and believe in yourself. It’s not easy but it’s definitely doable.
Gladys
The story of two women.
Amaka is a housewife married to a high-ranking government official. They have five kids who all attend private schools, and they are living well.
Amaka’s husband died when his first kid was just about to enter uni. The events that followed his death included his kinsmen coming for his properties, leaving his widowed wife with no choice but to return to her village with her kids, after which her kids were scattered between family members and about in a bid for better living and future. Last we heard of Amaka’s kids, not all kids could get the luxury of good and timely tertiary education. The kids are now having to do life from a disadvantaged position.
Chioma is a civil servant, married to a high-ranking government official, and they have four kids, living well as a family.
Chioma’s husband started a joint account initiative with his wife towards a goal: to acquire properties as a couple. When this started, Chioma was the only party putting money into this account. When the higher earning husband was questioned about this he assured her he was waiting on a huge side contract to pay up and he will do his part.
The account started getting debit alerts of which Chioma was unaware of until after and only when she confronted him, he would talk sweetly to her and tell her it was for his shop (which had no business structure and ROI due to unaccountability).
This continued as Chioma would save up a huge sum in the account and he would solely withdraw it without her knowledge/consent.
Until one day Chioma stopped, all hell broke loose from then as she became the unsubmissive wife despite the husband providing no accountability for funds withdrawn and zero paid in on his part towards their joint financial goal. From then on he stopped eating her food and they lived as flatmates and not even friends, as the husband became bitter towards her and became loudly verbally abusive. Thankfully Chioma was still working, and she was able to cater to herself and pursue some financial goals on her own before her retirement.
Imagine if Amaka had money of her own, was more financially literate and smart, she would have been in a better situation.
Imagine if Chioma was financially literate, she would be better informed on the details of a joint account when signing up and have better control of her money, for a start. Thankfully she had her own money and was able to survive being abandoned and rewrite her own financial story.
Faith*
Having your own money as a woman is one of the best things that can ever happen to you as a woman.
I will be talking from my sister’s experience as a married woman. She got married to this man. The man has a very big spare parts shop at one of the biggest markets in Lagos state. This man stopped my sister from working even while she was doing well in her business.
He moved her into being his secretary in the market, she had her first daughter, second daughter, the man kept treating her anyhow. The man will beat her for giving birth to just girls and will not allow her to buy anything for herself. The man brought his sister to the shop as the manager just to monitor my sister.
If my sister buys slippers for herself, the man will conclude that she stole his money working for him without being paid all in the name of being married. The man only buys her clothes on Christmas Day and he will be the one to go to the market to buy rubber shoe and clothes for her himself.
Everything become serious when she had her third daughter. The man beat her up for eating the fruit he kept in the fridge and threw her out of the house with the mind set that my sister doesn’t have anywhere else to go other than going to the village just 2 weeks after giving birth.
She went to the village, because of hunger she came back after spending 3 months in the village. She came back to beg the man. Stayed with him for 2years again had the 4th girl…and the man got really upset for giving him just girls. He beat her to a coma, pushed her out with just a wrapper; she spent 3 weeks in the hospital.
She left the hospital and went to Owerri to stay with a friend, came back to Lagos after 8 months, took her daughters to our aunty’s place and she started doing oso ahia in Alaba since she already had ideas of the business her husband does.
She did it for 2 years and now she has a shop in Alaba selling the same things her husband sells. Infact, all the customers her husband had liked her and they are patronizing her.
She rented a 2 bed, brought her daughters and got a nanny for them. Now her husband is begging. He said my sister stole his business and customers.
So it is good to have your own money so you can have a place to fall back to when you get abandoned.
My advise is for women to make their own money. Nott all men are to be trusted. They might likely abandon you and the kids tomorrow for someone else so you better make money at least to support the family.
*Name changed to protect identity.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.