Parents and grandparents are harnessing the power of words with children more than ever. This shift marks a departure from the outdated adage of “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Dr. Brittney Pearson, a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks, emphasizes the impact of words on children, shaping their self-worth and identity long-term. Similarly, Dr. Cheung “William” Tsang, a neuropsychologist, highlights how a parent’s words become internalized by children, influencing their self-talk and behaviors.
The phrase “practice makes perfect” may seem motivational on the surface, but child psychologists caution against its use. Dr. Pearson explains that this phrase sets an unattainable standard, fostering a fear of failure and perfectionism. Instead, phrases like “practice makes progress” encourage personal growth and reflection on achievements. It’s essential to avoid phrases like “you’re so smart,” as they can lead children to develop a fixed mindset and fear failure.
Other phrases to steer clear of include dismissing a child’s concerns with “that’s not a big deal,” which can invalidate their emotions, and asking “why did you do that?” in a judgmental tone. By shifting the focus to problem-solving and growth, parents can foster resilience and a healthy mindset in their children. Additionally, phrases like “it’s ok to make mistakes—that’s how we learn” normalize errors and encourage a growth mindset.
In the realm of parenting, it’s crucial to choose words that instill confidence, promote problem-solving, and build trust between parents and children. By replacing harmful phrases with positive alternatives, such as acknowledging effort over innate ability and normalizing mistakes as part of the learning process, parents can reshape their children’s inner dialogue and self-perception. Ultimately, the language we use with children has a profound impact on their development and future outlook.
Peace Nero is a writer and blogger who loves to explore different topics of self-development. She shares her personal experiences in order to help people discover their true purpose in life.