Romance will always be a part of the human experience. Wanting love and wanting companionship are key things that form the emotional fabric of the media in most societies.
But for women romance is marketed as that which makes us complete. The reality for women who date men is however different. Most women end up having emotional droughts because men are not raised to be emotionally intelligent.
For feminist women, navigating dating men can be a battle between giving up your desire for a partner, and facing the reality that you may not have one if you cannot stand the sexist nature of most men.
So how do feminist women navigate dating sexist men? At what point does feminism protect you from red flags romantically that can blow up later? What is the way forward?
Urban Woman Magazine recently asked some feminist women what their experiences have been dating sexist men, how they handle being attracted to men and what the way forward is.
Read their responses below.
M
Honestly, I think being a feminist does make dating a bit harder not because feminism is a problem but because it opens your eyes to things you can no longer ignore or excuse. There are certain behaviors, words, and mindsets I simply can’t tolerate anymore, especially when they stem from inequality, misogyny, patriarchy, or entitlement.
As a feminist, I value mutual respect, empathy, and shared responsibility. I want a partner who doesn’t see equality as a threat but as the foundation of love and partnership. That can be challenging because many people are still unlearning patriarchal norms, and navigating that space takes patience and a lot of discernment.
But even though it’s harder, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Feminism helps me love better with clarity, confidence, and a deeper sense of self-worth. It filters out what’s shallow and brings me closer to something intentional, honest, and truly mutual.
J
My approach towards romantic relationships as a feminist, who is anti-marriage and pro child-free and dates men in a deeply patriarchal society, has always been with this M.O: “I am here for a good time and not a long time.”
It has left me with a long list of exes, with relationship durations ranging from five years to three months.
And being a feminist didn’t prevent me from being physically, emotionally, and financially abused in these relationships. Honestly, I don’t know the way forward, but at this point, I have come to consider being partnered with a man as a game of risk.
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.