Women’s reproductive health and bodily autonomy is often the site of a lot of debate. From those who are against contraceptives to those who preach that abortion should be banned and only permissible in cases of rape.
It is almost as if women’s bodies are the political playgrounds where men of differing religious beliefs come to stake their ideological views.
But how do we center women who have had abortions and use contraceptives?
How do we ensure that it is women telling their stories of their bodily autonomy? The only way to do that is to simply do it.
Urban Woman Magazine recently spoke to some women and asked them to share their abortion stories and experiences.
Read their responses below.
YT
When I told my boyfriend I was pregnant, he laughed. I was house hunting at the time and would always rant to him about how expensive the options I was getting were. He said if I needed money, I should just tell him instead of coming up with a pregnancy story. So I brought out 5 positive test strips hoping it would convince him. I told him my fear. Telling my folks I was pregnant at 19 wasn’t an option. That it was better to run away from home and be presumed dead as a lot of people were disappearing due to the high rate of “one chance”. He started making jokes about baby names and how we should have sex so his sperm will make his baby stronger. I got home that day and knew what I had to do.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. I just didn’t want to die as I grew up hearing stories of girls who died from abortion. It didn’t take place at a hospital either. It was a makeshift “clinic” at the back of a building. The woman wasn’t exactly nice and she shamed me for having sex when I cried out in pain from the extraction process. I was young, I was alone, I was scared. I could have used a little bit of reassurance at the very least.
After the abortion, I was just glad it was over with and I survived. I did live in fear of complications for a couple weeks after that but nothing occurred. I was also happy that there was nothing tying me to the inconsiderate excuse of a man. This experience did not affect my future sexual relationships in any way though.
AC
I got pregnant for my ex boyfriend in July 2020, during the aftermath of covid. I didn’t know I was pregnant, I thought my period was late as usual, until my friend pointed out the size of my boobs.
I got home from work that day, and took a test which came out positive. I couldn’t believe it because we were always careful, I went to a lab to take a blood test and do an ultrasound which all came out positive and I was three weeks along. I started panicking and told my boyfriend about it (he was also my colleague at work).
This happened on a Tuesday, I told him I didn’t want to keep it cause my dad was going to kill me. He was also living with his mom at the time so a future together was a no-no.
OnThursday of the same week, my boyfriend got me abortion pills with directions on how to use them. I did the abortion myself that night, it was the second scariest moment of my life. I took the tablets as instructed with gin, my boyfriend was on call with me all through the process.
The process started an hour later, the pain was excruciating. It was quite easy to hide it from my sisters (my mom was late at the time as well) because I usually have really heavy flow during my period. I had to use Ladysept cause the blood was too much, I had to take 800mg of ibuprofen because the pain wanted to take my life.
I had everything happen to me at once, from diarrhoea to fever to headache to fatigue to dehydration (normal side effects if you take misoprostone for abortion) which lasted for 24 hours straight until I pooed the embryo out, and everything stopped immediately.
Thankfully I recovered well and I was able to go to work the next day. It took a while to get my appetite back, my period was really heavy for a few months after, but that was it.
I still enjoy sex (Penetrative and all) so much. I still get wet, have orgasms and squirt. So far, so good.
OP
I’ve had more than one abortion and I’ve also experienced D&C and Pills and Injection.
You know because of the legalities that’s tied with choice abortion, the doctors and hospitals who do them tend to want to treat you anyhow. From their words to body language and action. But one thing that has always worked for me is doing it with my full chest. Right from when I’m trying to make enquiries, I don’t act like I’m about to be involved in an abomination. So, I’d say the confidence helps. It let’s them know I’m not at their mercy. I even negotiate costs.
To be honest, nobody’s else opinion mattered (not like I actually allow them have any).
Overall, I just accept that it was an unwanted pregnancy that had to go and gone it is. It doesn’t in any way affect my sexual relationship (except that I try to be more careful, basically because I don’t like how anesthesia makes me feel post-procedure).
Angel Nduka-Nwosu is a writer, journalist and editor. She moonlights occasionally as a podcaster on As Angel Was Sayin’. Catch her on all socials @asangelwassayin.